Expectations: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them

Expectations… we all have them, we all feel the weight of them. In my sessions with clients the theme I see again and again is frustration and pain around unmet expectations. This can be true with our romantic partner, kids, job, friends, the list goes on. We cannot escape having expectations. So why are we so bad at communicating them?

First let’s break down what it means to have expectations. An expectation is “a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future”. Every situation we enter we have a predetermined idea of how we think things are going to go. For example, I have a friend who was excited about going to a pumpkin patch with her husband and children. In her mind they would head out in the morning and have this lovely Fall day among the pumpkins. Maybe sip hot apple cider and treat themselves to those fresh doughnuts those places always seem to have. They’d take adorable pictures of their children in the patch and select their perfect pumpkins before heading home. Once home, the kids would nap and she and her husband could relax on the couch together.

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